


Cake or Death

by Batfink



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cake, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Food Porn, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Peace Offering, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is making a cake as a peace offering for Thor.  Tony hinders, then helps him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cake or Death

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HarleyDeadpool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleyDeadpool/gifts).



> Thanks to Eddie Izzard for the title of this fic.
> 
> Lady M, this one is for you x
> 
> I hope it has some resemblance to what you had in mind :)

“What are you doing?” Tony asked sliding up behind Loki and slipping his arms around his waist.

“I'm panning for gold. What the hel does it look like?” Loki huffed continuing to circle the spoon in the mixing bowl he was holding.

“It looks, like your making a mess of the kitchen.” Tony chuckled nuzzling against Loki's neck. “Seriously though, are you making a cake?”

“Yes.” Loki sighed shrugging Tony off to reach over and add another ingredient to the bowl.

“Why?” Tony asked latching back onto Loki's waist.

“According to Barton. After alcohol, cake is the cure for all of life's problems.” Loki informed him. “And since the alcohol in this realm is like water to Asgardians. I am trying cake.”

“What problem are you trying to solve with cake?” Tony asked as Loki shrugged him off again.

“Your annoying-ness.” Loki glared at him.

“Ha!” Tony exclaimed. “Lie. My annoying-ness can easily be fixed with alcohol. So long as I am the one drinking it.” He reached for Loki again.

Loki huffed at him. “It is a peace offering for my brother and if you are not going to help. Kindly stay out of the way.”

“Fine.” Tony held up his hands in surrender and moved to the other side of the counter perching himself on a stool. He knew better than to get in the middle of something between Loki and Thor.

“So, where did you get the recipe?” Tony asked glancing at the piece of paper Loki was currently shaking flour off.

“Jarvis.” He replied.

“And the ingredients?” Tony enquired.

“Natasha helped me collect them from the staff canteen.” Loki shrugged.

“Hang on.” Tony thought for a moment before continuing. “Barton gave you the idea. Nat helped you find the ingredients. You know what that means don't you?”

Loki frowned at him. “What?”

“If two Avengers know you are making cake. They all know you are making cake.” Tony informed him.

“I swore them to secrecy.” Loki replied.

“Did you?” Tony asked. “Or did you just tell them to keep it a secret from Thor?”

Loki's eyes went wide.

“You're going to need more cake.” Tony chuckled.

“Help me.” Loki pleaded gesturing to the ingredients. “I don't have time to make two cakes.”

“I don't know how to bake.” Tony exclaimed.

Loki thrust the recipe towards Tony. “Neither do I.”

“Okay, okay.” Tony grabbed up another bowl. “Don't panic. I'm sure I can figure it out.”

A few moments later Tony was staring at the recipe. “I've missed something.” He stated looking from the piece of paper to the items in the bowl. “Eggs damn it. Where are the eggs?” He grabbed up an egg in each hand and cracked them off the side of the bowl. The one in his right hand came down with just a little too much force however and shattered into the bowl. “Fuck.” Tony groaned picking the largest pieces of egg shell out of the bowl and throwing them aside before reaching for the spoon.

“You need to get the rest of the pieces out.” Loki pointed to the small pieces of shell still in the bowl.

“It'll be fine.” Tony replied. “I'll crush them up with the spoon. No one will know.”

“I'll know.” Loki said in his familiar warning tone. “This needs to be perfect.”

Tony sighed but put down the spoon and reached into the bowl. “Ewww!” He squealed as his fingers touched the raw egg. “Gross. You owe me for this.” He dropped the pieces of egg shell onto the counter.

“Yes, yes.” Loki snapped. “I'll make it up to you later, I promise.”

Usually Tony wouldn't believe Loki when he said things like 'I promise', but where sex was concerned, Loki never lied to him.

Each of them poured their cake mixture into a tin not long after and slid them into the oven Loki had already had on pre-heat. “How long does it need?” Tony asked twirling the dial on the oven timer.

“30 to 40 minutes.” Loki replied.

Tony stopped twirling the timer at thirty minutes. “Okay, we'll check on them when the timer goes off. In the meantime...” He dropped his jeans to the floor and stepped out of them, pulling off his tank top as he crossed to a low counter on the other side of the kitchen. Leaning over it, he waggled his ass suggestively. “Come make it up to me then?” He demanded.

Loki wasn't looking at him staring instead at the recipe. “I need to make the frosting.” he murmured.

“No you don't.” Tony stated crossing to plaster himself to Loki's front. Pulling the recipe from his hand and dropping it to the counter. “There are several cans of the stuff in the cupboard.” He reached up a thumb to wipe a smudge of flour from Loki's cheek.

Loki looked down at him. “Why do you have frosting if you don't bake?” He enquired as he pulled off his shirt.

Tony averted his gaze a blush sneaking onto his cheeks. “I kinda like to eat it on its own.” He mumbled.

Loki laughed and tilted his head down to kiss Tony.

By the time the oven timer buzzed, they were both naked and sated on the living room sofa. They dragged themselves into the kitchen finding and putting on their jeans before Loki pulled open the oven door sliding one of the cakes out. “How do we know if they are ready?”

Tony dug around in a drawer for a moment then handed Loki a skewer. “Stick that in the middle.”

Loki did so and when he pulled it back out and held it up, Tony informed him to try another five minutes. Loki slid the cake back in and twirled the timer. While they waited Tony rummaged around in a cupboard until he found and pulled out a wire cooling rack clearing a space for it by dumping all the used dishes into the sink.

By the time the timer buzzed again they had cleared most of the mess in the kitchen. Loki picked up the skewer again. This time sliding out the other cake and piercing it. He pulled it out and held it up for Tony to look at.

“That should do.” Tony nodded pointing to the metal draining board on the side of the sink. “Stick them there.”

Loki lifted out the cake pans and set them on the metal.

“We need to wait for the tins to cool down before we take them out.” He crossed to another cupboard and opened the door. “You got food colouring right?” He asked lifting down the cans of frosting. “Cause I only have white.”

He placed the cans on the counter beside the cooling rack as Loki nodded, holding up two bottles of food colouring. One blue, one red. “Perfect.” Tony smiled.

A short while later they were able to remove the cakes from the tins and place them on the cooling rack. Loki popped each of the cans of frosting while Tony passed him bowls. He emptied one can into each bowl then they each took a bottle of food colouring.

Loki poured a small amount of the blue into his bowl and started mixing it. Getting a nice pale blue. Tony, not wanting to end up with pink frosting tipped in the whole bottle of red and ended up with something that resembled a sticky blood bath. Once they had each spread frosting over a cake, Tony crossed back to the cupboard the frosting had been in and rooted around for a moment before pulling out a tub of glacé cherries.

“Let me guess.” Loki chuckled. “You eat those like sweets?”

Tony smirked, pulling the lid off the container and popping a cherry into his mouth before pulling out another and holding it out to Loki. Loki leaned forward and opened his mouth. Tony slid the cherry past his lips, holding it to Loki's tongue until he closed his lips around Tony's fingers, sucking gently as Tony slid them back out.

“Better get these on the cakes before we eat them all.” Tony chuckled emptying out the container and dividing them into two piles. Loki gave him a look that said he was hungry for something else and Tony quickly scattered half the cherries over the blue cake as Loki wrapped himself around him.

On the other cake, the red one. Loki reached around Tony and spelled out 'Thor' with the cherries before sliding his cherry sticky fingers into Tony's mouth. Tony sucked them clean before tilting his head up to kiss Loki.

 

About an hour later, Thor and the other Avengers piled into the penthouse. Thor unsure as to why they had all insisted he had to go up there. Right now. When he stepped out of the lift, a sweet smell assaulted his senses immediately and his mouth began to water.

“What is that delicious smell?” He boomed.

Loki appeared from the bedroom smoothing down his hair. Tony hot on his heels pulling on his tank top. “A gift.” Loki smiled at his brother ushering him into the kitchen.

Thor looked down at the two cakes on the counter. “You made this for me?” He grinned at his brother before picking up the whole red cake and taking a bite. His eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned. “This is amazing.”

Tony had grabbed a knife and some plates. Cutting the blue cake into slices which Loki handed to the other Avengers.

“Oh gods.” Clint groaned taking a bite.

“I made that one.” Tony smiled.

“You guys should make cake all the time.” Steve informed them forgetting his own strict set of manners and talking around the slice of cake he was trying to jam in his mouth.

Natasha said nothing but held out her plate for another slice.

“This is good.” Bruce added licking frosting from his fingers.

Thor finished his cake all by himself and then grabbed his brother into a hug. “You are forgiven.”

“What did you do anyway?” Tony asked shovelling half a slice of cake into his mouth.

“I'll tell you later.” Loki whispered seeing Thor's eyes narrow. Quickly he held out the last slice of the other cake to his brother who smiled again and grabbed it up jamming it into his mouth leaving no cake for Loki.

At great personal sacrifice, Tony handed the other half of his slice to Loki who smiled gratefully before taking a bite. “Wow, Tony.” He murmured. “I think you missed your calling.”

Tony laughed reaching out his pinkie to scoop frosting off the corner of Loki's mouth. “I think we both did.” He chuckled licking the frosting off his finger in a very seductive manner without breaking eye contact with Loki.

“Get a room.” Clint exclaimed.

Tony laughed some more. “All these rooms are mine, Barton and don't you forget it.”

Clint thought about that for a moment, looking from Tony and Loki to the counter he was leaning against. “Oh gross!” He exclaimed in mock disgust lifting his elbows off the counter.

The rest of those assembled burst out laughing except Steve, who also looked mildly concerned about the counter he was leaning against. While Clint and Steve happily accepted Tony and Loki as a couple. Neither of them liked to think about them having sex on the kitchen counters, or anywhere else for that matter.

“I'm so glad we were able to hold off this conversation until after we had all finished eating.” Nat chuckled.

“Ain't that the truth.” Bruce smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I fall into the 'can't cook, won't cook' category, so please excuse the vagueness of the actual cake making description.


End file.
